Pain is inevitable but misery is optional...

There seems like there's so much to write yet I can't find the words to say... maybe a relief, a new hope and joy, a peace, a heartbreak and a Father's embrace.
God is a jealous God... and he will break down any idol we make.
Idol: def; a desire or plan that you want so much that you are willing to sin to get it.
Do you ever make an idol and think that this idol can satisfy me, sustain me and be sufficient enough for me? I did. Like a fool I thought that this 'someone' could be my all in all, that this person could satisfy me and could and would sustain me. As you all know man fails you and then leaves you, and you're devastated wondering what could satisfy you, sustain you, be sufficient enough for you.
I am facing this trail now and even though I'm shocked at this heartbreak I can see God using this to draw me closer to him... and it has. :)
Each morning I'm waking up and saying, 'Today Lord I'm gonna follow you and I'm gonna rejoice in you. I don't know about tomorrow, but I know that for today I have the strength to follow you.' You realize that that for that day it turns into days, then weeks, months and years and you realize that God Is sufficient enough for you. That that person had no part in this walk with God and that God sustains you and satisfies you're every desire!
David Paulus came over for the weekend and I believe God brought him so that he could encourage me and prepare me for this heartbreak. On our way home from church I was crying telling him how I didn't understand this persons actions and how hurt and forsaken I felt and he told me... Pain is Inevitably but Misery is Optional. And I was able to realize that even though circumstances aren't in my favor I can still along the way be joyful in the Lord and look to God for comfort instead of crying and being miserable all the time. Because, I could very easily be miserable right now, but I'm choosing to rejoice. I'm choosing to say, 'Lord today I'm gonna follow you and I'm gonna rejoice in you.'
I know the lord's hand is upon this whole thing and that this relationship was not from him and I need to let go of everything and turn wholly and completely over to him. I told the Lord one day... either make this grow stronger or completely take this away from me... and he answered me...he did. I'm in prayer for this whole thing... but I keep waiting to hear my parents tell me that this is just a joke and everything is fine... there is still that yearning, but I need to let it go.

I had the mind set that marriage is the 'end point' or the 'finish line,' but after all this I know that God is the end point, heaven is the finish line, and my path is straight before him and if he decides along the way to bless me with getting married then I will be the happiest woman in the world, but if not even still I will rejoice. Some people like me learn through experience. Experience... painful some times, but good.

Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:2-5

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Each morning I encourage you to wake up and declare to God that you will follow him for that day, and day by day experience walking with him hand in hand. Remember to rejoice always and let God be your ultimate focus and let no other replace him in your heart. Hold strong and fight the good fight... I love you dear friends

My New Blogger

Hey there everyone... this is my new blog... full of my many convictions, prayers, fun stuff and most importantly a peek into my walk with the Lord... enjoy!